Healthy relationships don’t happen overnight. They take effort, commitment, maturity, and respect. Relationship standards are commonly overlooked in high school. Very few teens have a genuine healthy relationship. High school relationships can be a positive part of your high school experience. It exposes you to different personalities, social skills, and a different environment or way of life. So many teens have a dream of this picture perfect relationship they hope to be in during high school. Most people don’t realize the amount of effort it actually takes to have the healthy relationship they dream of. It’s important to be on the same page as your significant other, set boundaries and talk with them about what’s best for your relationship. If you are currently struggling or want to be ready for a possible future relationship, read and follow these 10 rules listed below.

1. Communicate!

Relationships don’t work without communication. Communication helps you and your partner share feelings, opinions, expectations, and it keeps you connected. It also helps build trust within the relationship. Being comfortable with talking and expressing emotions with your partner helps the relationship stay strong and continue to grow. It just shows that you and your partner are on the same page with each other, and you’re putting the expected effort in as well.

1. Respect Their Name

Respecting your partner is having self-respect. Treat them how you want to be treated. Making sure your partner feels recognized and heard from you is a key factor to a positive relationship. Don’t take advantage of your partner because you “have” them. Constantly tearing your partner down, and making them be seen out as the bad guy reflects worse on you, your values, and intentions as a significant other. 

1. Honesty is the Best Policy

Relationships thrive off of trust. It lets your partner know you believe in their promises and commitments. It gives your relationship a sense of security. Nothing is worse than not being able to trust your partner. The constant fear, overthinking, and anger it can cause is frustrating. Relationships shouldn’t be one sided, they’re about being with someone you like or love which shouldn’t include unquestionable loyalty or honesty. If you can’t be honest with your partner, don’t waste their time. You made a commitment to be with them, so hold yourself to that standard.

1. Sometimes YOU are the Problem

Humans aren’t perfect. Over-romanticizing or creating the “perfect partner” in your head doesn’t go how you think it should. Having these strongly held feelings on what you think your relationship should be like, can actually tear your relationship apart. Constantly overthinking your relationship, always asking for reassurance, and picking fights for no reason might be a sign you are the problem. For some people it is much easier for them to blame their partner than to stand up to their own problems and mistakes. 

1. Don’t Change Yourself

Changing your values and beliefs for someone so you can feel “loved” or “accepted” is going to be miserable and pointless for you. If someone doesn’t like you for you, then they don’t deserve you. To me, being in a relationship where you feel the need to change things about yourself to feel wanted by someone else, isn’t a real genuine relationship. Yes, it’s ok to have interest in things your partner does, or have things in common but it shouldn’t get to the point where everything you do reflects on how you think your partner is going to react. 

1. Don’t Sacrifice Your Future

Going off of #5, don’t give up on your dreams for someone. If your partner really loves you then they should be willing to get through the hard times with you, so you can be happy. Sacrificing your future for someone shows how your relationship is going to end up. You need to do what’s best for you. Don’t get held back by your highschool sweetheart, because you’re going to regret not pursuing your dreams when you’re unhappy in the years to come. You should support your partner and their life decisions, stand by them, encourage them, and don’t hold them back.

1. Not Everything is About You

It takes two people for a relationship to be successful. It’s important to listen to your partner when they are trying to express their feelings or opinions to you, don’t turn it around and make what they say or do about you. You wouldn’t like it if you were trying to tell your partner something, and they made it about them. Constantly pushing your significant other away to make yourself the center of attention can come off as you being self centered. Basing everything you guys do in your relationship to benefit just you is a big no as well. Relationships that are controlled or based on one person don’t usually work out. 

1. You Don’t Own Eachother

Significant others aren’t your “property.” Just because you are dating doesn’t mean you can control them, their actions, and choices. It should be common sense that while in a relationship you guys are “together,” and it’s not ok to get with anyone else. With that being said just because you guys are together it doesn’t make it ok to keep your partner on lockdown, keep them away from friends, and forbid them to do certain things. This all falls back on trust and communication. There should be no need to make your partner miserable, because you are “insecure” or “scared” they would do something not to your liking. It’s ok to express things you don’t feel comfortable with, but don’t be controlling about it.

1. Keep Personal What Needs To Be Personal

All that matters in a relationship is that you and your partner are on the same page, and know what’s going on. There is no point in trying to get “approval” from other peers on your relationship. Your significant other should be the only person you want to tell important or private information(besides your closest friends or parents), so why would you feel the need to share personal information with anyone else. No one wants to hear about your “relations” with your partner either. Boasting about things in that matter shows you have no self respect for you or your partner. Things that go on or are said in relationships are mainly meant to be private and kept to each other. It shows love, affection, and security to your partner when you keep things between the two of you. 

1. Have Fun With Each Other

Relationships are supposed to be fun and enjoyable. Picking fights over little conflicts is such a waste of time. Relationships are a way better experience when there are no unnecessary fights. You are supposed to look forward to spending time with your partner, not dread it. Enjoy it while you have it, and live in the moment. Being in a relationship that is draining, boring, and effortless is not worth it. 

Being in a relationship can be a great experience for some people. Having a healthy positive relationship is achievable and reasonable. Communicate with your partner, know your worth, and stand up for what’s right. Relationships do take effort, but relationships are also a choice. If you commit to a relationship, be mature about it. You’re only young once, so make the most of it.