4th period brings with it many perks: It’s the period before lunch for some, the halfway point of the day for others, and just a rather darn cool class for none other than your friendly neighborhood Parnassus staff. (Contrary to popular belief, we are some pretty cool cats). One thing that I’ve always loved about Parnassus is the coming together of so many different and colorful personalities. I’ve met some pretty rad people here, and the great thing is, we are all connected by the one thing we love the most (and it’s not Oreos). So, without further ado, meet the secret sides of your favorite newspaper staff.

Emilee Gear (a.k.a. ‘Em’)

1. One who is spending all period running between napping on the couch in the lounge or hanging out with her dad in his office. She often spends her time conjuring the greatest Tweet known to man, practicing her dance routine, and listening to music no one’s ever heard of.
2. A person who is fiercely dedicated to her craft, and does it in her very own unique way.
3. Has the ability to be incredibly positive and uplifting, but only when she feels like it.  

Ariel Wolfe (a.k.a. ‘Earl’ or ‘hey you’)

1. Someone who unapologetically spends her time browsing Pinterest, playing awful, annoying Christmas music regardless of the time of year, and complaining about how hungry she is. (Even if she just ate a sleeve of cookies 30 seconds ago.)
2. One who never updates her blog.
3. One who needs to update her blog before someone (i.e. me) hits her.
4. Someone who never fails to offer me her chicken wings (even if she just offered them the day before).

Hannah Irelan (a.k.a. ‘ H.B. Irelan’)

1. One who enjoys bragging about her daycare children far too often, receives at least one vegetarian joke per period, and often gets distracted by CNN.
2. Someone who spends an insane amount of time writing about people who don’t exist.
3. A person who often times becomes consumed by her music.

Bella McGill (a.k.a. Just Bella. Don’t even venture to call her Isabelle. Just don’t, okay? I’m doing you a favor.)

1. Someone who always carries a book with her, is dedicated to her craft, and especially enjoys bonding over unique baby names.
2. One who could kill you with her evil stare.
3. An absolute sweetheart whose passion for words is undeniable.

Mrs. Tonsoni (a.k.a. ‘Mrs. T,’ ‘T,’ or ‘mom’)

1. One who possesses literally everything a girl could need (and I mean everything).
2. A true storyteller, she always has a goofy story about Mr. T or one of her sons.
3. Someone who never lets us starve, and we appreciate it greatly.

Katie Gear (a.k.a. ‘Lil Gear)

1. Someone who is easily mistaken for her big sister.
2. A person who often finds herself lounging in the back room assisting Ariel and Emilee in Webshow Wednesday preparations.
3. One who, on occasion, has the most random story ideas.

Oliva Livingston (a.k.a. ‘Liv’)

1. One who, as a good friend would do, always eats the popcorn that Emily burns to a crisp.
2. A rather quiet girl in class, but have no fear, time will change her.
3. One who always laughs over a dumb joke at least once during the 45 minute class period.

Jacob Clouser (a.k.a ‘Jake’)

1. Part 1 of your sports news crew.
2. The star of ‘Jacob eating things,’ which has become a staple of our Webshow.
3. One who never fails to crack a dumb joke at least once.

Kain Myer

1. Part 2 of your sports news crew
2. One who always has the camera a little too close to his face as he introduces ‘Jacob eating things.’
3. Being the most serious one of the sports crew, Kain often finds himself caught in juvenile pranks committed by his fellow crew members.

Daniel Jakes

1. Part 3 of your sports news crew.
2. One who asks every single week if he can make a joke about his arm in Webshow Wednesday, met with a swift ‘no’ by Mrs. T.
3. One who always has headphones in, and always requires Mrs. T to say his name in 34 different tones before he hears her.

Emily Hudson (a.k.a. Needs a nickname because having two Em’s is slowly getting confusing.)

1. Someone who always burns the popcorn
2. Someone who always blames the popcorn burning on someone else, particularly the microwave (only because it can’t defend itself).
3. A super cool chick

Parnassus is a group of seriously hard workers when we are required to be, but never are we short of a few jokes or pranks to keep each other lively. We aren’t a class, we are a family bound by the two things that we all have in common: our love for writing and food.