We’ve all seen, or at least heard of, The Twilight Saga by Stephanie Meyer. Some have hailed it as the most romantic vampire series in the history of literature or cinema, but others? Well, not so much. There are a number of problems with Twilight (more so the movies than the books), and I’m here to tell you why this movie series is better to be laughed at than actually enjoyed.

   First of all, the two main love interests of Bella Swan in the series, Edward Cullen and Jacob Black, are just…yuck. Edward is supposed to be portrayed as a mysterious vampire hunk who is so attracted to Bella (and her blood) that he instantly becomes infatuated with her. Edward and Bella’s relationship is also depicted as the epitome of romance, but in reality, it’s one of the most toxic partnerships I’ve ever seen. Not only is Edward a master gaslighter (meaning he manipulates her into questioning her own sanity such as when she initially suspects his vampirism), but they are far too codependent on each other. This is especially seen when Bella goes into a deep, several months-long depression when Edward leaves her for a year. Or when he gives her an ultimatum of abandoning her family and friends or being with him (can you guess what she chose?). We’re not even going to talk about the times when Edward watches Bella sleep, in her bedroom, before they were even dating. Or when he stalks her. All in all, -46/10, would not date. 

Now, let’s talk about Jacob. He’s a whiny, narcissistic “nice guy” who’s mad about being in the friend zone. Jaob is totally convinced that Bella is in love with him (despite Bella protesting otherwise), and he even assaults her and forces her to kiss him in order to prove it. Thankfully, she punches him. If I had to describe Jacob in more modern terms, I would say he’s an entitled guy who thinks girls owe him attention, and also a good manipulator (like vampire boy from earlier). I’m also creeped out by the whole “imprinting on Renesmee” thing. If you don’t know, imprinting in Twilight is when a werewolf meets his destined mate and immediately falls in love with them. Now, if the mate is too young, the feelings will be more like a brother/best friend but will soon turn romantic. Even if they’re not romantic initially, it’s still weird to think that he’ll eventually be in love with her as she grows older. 

   Why did anybody even bother fighting over “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob” when they’re both horrible dudes, anyways? Battling over which toxic guy you would let ruin your life JUST because you think he’s attractive doesn’t seem like a good way to enjoy a movie. Make it make sense, because the Twilight fandom definitely won’t explain their reasoning. 

   Now let’s talk about the supernatural pregnancy that Bella went through in Breaking Dawn. Not only was it an idiotic choice to go through with a vampiric pregnancy as a human, but what’s more, how would a human/vampire pregnancy even work? According to any folklore, vampires are undead beings who don’t have an ounce of blood or working organs in their body. Yes, that also means reproductive organs. So how would Bella and Edward even be able to do the deed, let alone conceive a child from the act? Not to mention, Bella literally breaks her spine while pregnant because her body can’t handle the little bloodsucker inside her. Frankly, it’s confused me ever since I saw it. Someone explain her logic, please. 

   Next on the list is Bella and Edward’s daughter herself, Renesmee. While I have some sympathy for her, with that weird name and the fact that a literal adult fell in love with her just hours after her birth, I can’t help but cringe. This is mostly due to the director’s incredibly horrifying CGI for Renesmee as an infant. The director’s wanted Renesmee to look more “expressive” and “intelligent” than a normal baby, but they just ended up creating a monster. Yikes, man.

   Lastly, let’s just take a second to appreciate the acting. And by appreciate, I mean appreciate the fact that nothing as horrible as Twilight will ever be produced again. Why was the overall movie (minus the plot) so bad? Well for instance, the drama in the script could have been a tasteful addition to the series, but unfortunately, the directors just decided to go overboard with it. As an example, when we first see Bella and Edward interact, he is so overcome with the smell of her blood that he violently reacts and somehow didn’t attract any attention in public. Not to mention that there is absolutely no chemistry between the main actors, making any sort of love story almost impossible to believe. How did Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart date in real life when they couldn’t even fabricate at least SOME compatibility on-screen? 

   Although I, and many other people, have plenty more issues with The Twilight Saga than I was able to list here, this is probably a succinct list of what bothers me the most. Other issues, such as the racism in the casting, overly religious messages such as purity culture, or just a lot of plot holes in the tacky plot line, can be read up on later. But for now, enjoy this libel article!