I know that most of you have seen at least one Disney princess movie during your lifetime. I also know that the plotline most likely included a woman being swept off her feet by a man and running off into the sunset with him. However, does this type of love actually exist? Are we being taught to worship a connection that is unnatural in the real world? Is there really only one person for all of us? 

For as long as I can remember, I have detested the idea of soulmates. I have always thought of it in this scenario: Imagine you are in the lunch line waiting for a yogurt parfait. You can either choose a strawberry or blueberry parfait. If you choose a strawberry parfait, the person of your dreams will approach you and tell you they also enjoy strawberry parfaits and it will lead to a conversation followed by a lifetime of happiness. If you choose a blueberry parfait, you will forever live alone, completely unaware that if you had chosen differently, you would have met “The One.” I don’t believe that the future is fixed. I believe that the future is constantly changing based on our choices, whether they be as simple as a parfait flavor or whether or not we want to have kids in the future. 

From a different perspective, not all people want to get married. Do their soulmates suffer a lifetime of loneliness and solitude simply because their one true match decided that marriage isn’t for them? I would like to think not. However, if this is true, I believe that it is a great injustice to both parties involved. 

Others might counter that if soulmates don’t exist, what about true love? If “true love” in this context means “perfect love,” I don’t believe in that either. However, I do believe in real love. Real love is messy and at times, complicated. Nothing worth fighting for is ever easy. However, one should never have to struggle for love. It should never take a toll on someone’s physical or mental well-being; that is where I draw the line. Most of these concepts we believe about love and relationships stem from that “Disney” idea that love is perfect and, if you find the right person, effortless. This is simply untrue. For example, ask any married couple about their expectations of marriage versus the reality. In this modern world we have bills to pay, mouths to feed, and houses to heat. Not every aspect of love and relationships is perfect, but that’s what makes it real. 

Overall, I am not hating on love or those who wholeheartedly believe in soulmates. I am simply addressing the reality that life is imperfect and real. The sooner we accept that truth, the sooner we can develop authentic relationships with a foundation of acceptance and open-mindedness rather than fantasy and tradition.