Girls are sugar and spice and everything nice while boys are snips and snails and puppy dog tails, according to an old nursery rhyme. Personally, I know this rhyme from that one episode of The Powerpuff Girls when Mojo Jojo creates the Rowdyruff Boys and chaos ensues. But I digress. Girls are taught from a young age to be prim, pretty, and proper; boys are taught to be rough, tough, and wild. Girls are pink, and boys are blue. Girls must be sweet, and guys must be strong. Why is that?

Let’s first begin with girls. Everything is pink and little bows and cupcakes. From a young age, society is pushing us into this box. A box consists of six sides, right? Let’s assign a trait that girls are expected to have to each side.

Side one: pretty. If you’re not pretty, you’re nothing, but if you are pretty, you’re still nothing because you’re not allowed to be smart and have thoughts; if you are pretty, then you’ll land a guy who will support you for the rest of your life. While I have nothing against marrying rich and not having to work, why is it always the female gender that is associated with this? Why is it a sugar daddy and not a sugar momma? (Please note: these past few sentences are more satirical than serious.) But honestly, girls have to wear makeup. Girls have to have their hair done and their nails done. Girls have to wear cute outfits. Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do these things (I much prefer dresses to pants), but the problem is that the majority of women believe that they have to do these things. That’s not true at all, but that’s what we’re taught.

Side two: virtuous. Chaste. Saintly. Pure. Girls are expected to wait until marriage. There’s really no other way to put it. Women can date other people, but you have to save your self for the right guy. As if. While guys can sleep with whomever they want to because that just makes them “cooler” and “more masculine,” girls are labeled as a slut and a whore if they so much as let someone go to second base. And God forbid if she loses her virginity because then it’s fair game to slut shame. It’s disgusting to walk through the high school hallways and hear guys bragging about “a conquest” and then for them to turn around and make fun of the girl. Does that not ring hypocritical to anyone else?

Side three: sensitive. Girls have to be nice and sweet and kind, all rainbows and gumdrops and butterflies. Women have to smile and wave, have to like puppies and kitties and coo at babies. Girls are not “allowed” to like scary or tough things. It’s weird to like wrestling or spiders, weird to prefer superheroes to princesses and horror movies to romcoms. Again, there’s nothing wrong with liking puppies and princesses and other feminine stuff; it’s wrong to shove it down our throats and make us be someone that we may not want to be.

Side four: submissive. This mindset honestly needs to be left back in the 1950s where it belongs. A couple of months ago, I saw an article that was talking about the “19 things to be a perfect housewife,” and I nearly threw up. Sorry to break it to you, but both men and women work in this day and age. Also, women are not exclusively nurses and flight attendants; they are pilots, police officers, doctors, artists, and so much more. Women are strong, and it’s not right to be told that you have to submit to your male counterpart. I hate it when girls act dumb so that they don’t make a boy feel inferior to them. Make him feel inferior! Show off your talents and your intelligence! If you’re good at something, make it known. If someone compliments you, own it. Whenever a girl is complimented (which is mostly on her looks by the way, not “hey, great job on that Calc test!”), she is expected to accept it with a nod and a blush. If she acts like she knows she’s pretty or smart or anything, the compliment is immediately rescinded and some rather lewd names are thrown her way. Why am I not allowed to celebrate what makes me great? Someone please explain this to me!

Side five: delicate. You know what I mean―small, soft features, graceful, and a gentle demeanor. Delicacy is synonymous with femininity; it’s just the truth. People want to be comforted by someone with a sweet face and a delicate touch, people are drawn to that. Therefore, if a girl wants to successfully catch a man, she must be delicate. There are two parts to delicacy: the personality part and the appearance part. Let’s move on to the appearance. You know that one really tiny person that always makes you feel like a giant no matter how short you  are? Do you ever feel self-conscious around that person? It’s because women are brought up thinking, “The tinier the better!,” and so when you’re around a tiny person you just feel inferior. Also, when you’re tiny, you look vulnerable and fragile. Men have the instinct to protect the weak (which is why women are often referred to as “the weaker sex” which is disgusting, sexist, and completely untrue. I think that both genders put up with a lot of crap, and can we please just stop pitting ourselves against one another?), so women are told that they need to look weak. You know the “I’m cold. Here, take my jacket” maneuver that movies and teen novels are so fond of? Protecting the weak.

Side six: nurturing. Women have babies. Yes, we all know that. We all took health class, as painful as that was. We know that women are mothers. They are the ones with the reproductive organs for it, we get it. The thing is, not all women have to be mothers. Not all women want children or want to be pregnant. Not all women like babies. It may sound odd, but that is only because we are brought up with these goals in mind―school, college, marriage, family. Does anyone disagree, and boys, you don’t count. (Although I’m willing to bet that about ninety percent of you reading this were brought up the exact same way.) The ultimate ending to a woman’s life is to have a family. It happens in every romance movie, or at least is hinted at happening. Girls are taught that in order to be happy, you have to have a husband and 2.5 babies to go with him.

Again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with liking these traits. I myself have quite a few of them. What’s bad about this is that these gender stereotypes are forced upon us when they shouldn’t be. And what’s more, guys should be allowed to have these traits without fear of judgment. With that being said, let’s move on to the opposite gender.

Many women complain that men have it easier because they are not held to the impossible standards of beauty or because they can walk home safely in the dark or because of all sorts of reasons. And yes, those arguments are valid because they are true, but being a man isn’t the cakewalk that it seems to be.

Men aren’t held to impossible standards of beauty? Perhaps not, but they are body-shamed just as much as women. Women pick up a magazine and see a skinny, blonde model; men pick up a magazine and see a muscly, square-jawed athlete. Men are pressured to be strong and look buff; They are told to go to the gym, to do anything to get the muscular body. One in three teenage boys admit to using some sort of muscle enhancer, and we all know the stories of the athletes who use steroids because they’re all over the media. Do you ever think that if we didn’t hold men to these standards, maybe they wouldn’t feel the need to use illegal substances? (Just a thought.)

Men have to be masculine. That includes doing nothing that may be construed as feminine, such as scrapbooking, ballet, and baking. That also includes not wearing makeup. Now, I suppose this may not seem like a big deal; after all, I just went on about how women are told they “have” to wear makeup and now I’m upset that guys “can’t”? Well, the reasoning behind that is because guys can’t wear makeup. You should’ve seen the look on my cousin’s face when I had to put eyeshadow on him for a play we were just recently in. Honestly, so many men wear makeup (celebrities, singers, judges and hosts on game shows), but no one ever talks about it because it’s so taboo.

Quite frankly, I don’t understand why putting overpriced goop on one gender’s face is more acceptable than putting it on the other gender’s face, but ‘tis the absurdness of our society.

Did you know that men are 3 ½ times more likely to commit suicide than women? I don’t believe that there is an actual scientific reason for this, but I’m willing to bet that it has something to do with the fact that men are told to bottle up their feelings, to not show weakness, to be tough. To not be a girl. Why is that? Why aren’t guys allowed to be compassionate? Why is it a sign of weakness when a man cries?

Men are supposed to be strong. They’re the ones who are looked to for comfort when a bad thing happens. They’re the ones who have to “hold it together” for their families. Who can say who started this archaic belief that men are not allowed to show weakness, but I think we can all agree that it needs to stop. It’s unfair to force men to keep all of their feelings inside. It’s unfair to force men to hide their problems and even their successes.

Is it not sad to watch a little boy grow up from being an expressive and fun kid to a tough, no-nonsense guy? How can parents stand to see the light go out of their son’s eyes as they are continually told to man up, to not cry, to get over it?

Why it’s okay for little girls to like dolls and little boys to like robots, but not the other way around will never make sense to me. Why we’re forced into these idiotic gender-stereotypes is a mystery to me, but we’re in them, and it’s going to be a long time until we break from them. Listen: if you’re a girl and you like to feel pretty, or if you’re a guy and you genuinely want to participate in football, then be my guest. There is nothing wrong with that. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do these things, no matter what anyone tells you. Just be the amazing person that you are and live your life the way you want.