“On a scale of 1-10, how do you feel?” My feelings aren’t numbers. “How was your experience with us today?” My experiences aren’t numbers. Why do people insist on judging things from one to ten? I propose a new system of judgement from spiders to ice cream.

For example, if your parent asks, “How was your day from spiders to ice cream?” You could respond, “It was about like mowing the yard.” Now whether you enjoy mowing the yard with the smell of freshly cut grass or think it’s a chore with the tiny blades getting everywhere, you have a far better comparison than saying your day was a three. This extra second to come up with something more interesting also helps your creative juices to get flowing, even if out of spite. For instance, “My day was like stepping on a lego.”

This alternative scale helps people to think differently. Instead of complacently accepting your world in numbers, change how you view your circumstances. If you feel sick to your stomach and the nurse asks what your pain level is, tell her, “About like how Bernie felt losing to Hillary.” Isn’t that far more relatable?

So what other things in life should we look at differently? Look at the celebrities and realize they probably don’t eat cereal for breakfast. Look at the babies in the store and think about what their America will look like. Look at the elders driving slowly and ponder what makes them do so. Look at someone with dyed hair and consider how you would appear with blue locks. Look at the students around you and notice that they have completely separate ideas than you.

Maybe your new life scale will make you smile for a second. Numbers don’t often make me laugh, but comparing a failed math test to a spider dropping on your face or a day without homework to receiving free ice cream for life, keeps me a little more sane.